George Physics 101
by Jerron
Summary: Humor- not really anything to do with Physics. A treatise on how the Star Wars universe differs from the real world.


A/N: I like Star Wars, truly I do. But sometimes, I think you could drive a fleet of Death Stars through the plot holes. Star Wars remains the property of George Lucas. I'm just having a bit of fun with his intellectual property. I am making no profit here.

In the beginning George created The Force and the galaxy. And the galaxy was without form, and void; and the darkside was upon the face of the deep. And the Spirit of George moved upon the face of the screen.

And George said, Let there be Industrial Light: and there was Industrial Light.

And George saw the Industrial Light, that it was good: and George divided the Industrial Light from the darkside.

And George called the Industrial Light CGI, and the darkside he called Darth. And the evening and the morning were the first movie.

And George said, Let there be a firmament in the midst of the screen, and let it divide the Industrial Light from the darkside.

And George made the firmament, and divided the darkside which was under the firmament from the Industrial Light which was above the firmament: and it was so.

And George called the firmament The Force. And the evening and the morning were the second movie.

And George said, Let the darkside under The Force be gathered together unto one place, and let the plot appear: and it was so.

And George called the plot A New Hope; and the gathering together of The Force called the Jedi: and George saw that it was good.

And George said, Let the Jedi bring forth Anakin, whose seed is in itself, upon the Jedi: and it was so.

And the Jedi brought forth Anakin, whose seed was in itself, after his kind: and George saw that it was good.

And the evening and the morning were the third movie.

And George said, Let there be dialog in the firmament of The Force to divide the plot from the CGI; and let them be for signs, and for seasons, and for days, and years:

And George made two great lights; the greater light to rule the CGI, and the lesser light to rule the plot: he made the stars also.

And George set them in the firmament of The Force to give story unto the galaxy,

And to rule over the Jedi and over the Sith, and to divide the light from the darkside: and George saw that it was good.

And the evening and the morning were the fourth movie.

And George said, Let the screen bring forth abundantly the moving creature that hath CGI, and craft that may fly above the greenscreen in the open firmament of the galaxy.

And George created great battleships, and every living creature that moveth, which The Force brought forth abundantly, after their kind, and every droid after his kind: and George saw that it was good.

And George blessed them, saying, Be fruitful, and multiply, and fill the shelves in the stores, and let action figures multiply in the galaxy.

And the evening and the morning were the fifth movie.

And George said, Let The Force bring forth the living creature after his kind, Bantha, and creeping thing, and beast of the Cantina after his kind: and it was so.

And George made the beast of the Cantina after his kind, and Bantha after their kind, and every thing that creepeth within the galaxy after his kind: and George saw that it was good.

And George said, Let us make aliens in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the Calamari of the sea, and over the Toydarian of the air, and over the Bantha, and over all the galaxy, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the screen.

So George created aliens in his own image, in the image of George created he them; male and female created he them.

And George blessed them, and George said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the galaxy, and subdue it: and have dominion over the Calamari of the sea, and over the Toydarian of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the screen.

And George said, Behold, I have given you every plot bearing seed, which is upon the face of all the galaxy, and every royalty, in the which is the fruit of a royalty yielding profit; to you it shall be for meat.

And to every action figure of the galaxy, and to every craft of the air, and to every thing that selleth upon the shelf, wherein there is profit, I have given every green back for meat: and it was so.

And George saw every thing that he had made, and, behold, it was very good. And the evening and the morning were the sixth movie.

Thus the heavens and the earth were finished, and all the host of them.

And instead of the seventh movie George ended his work which he had made; and he rested instead of the seventh movie from all his work which he had made.

And George blessed the boxed set, and sanctified it: because that in it he had collected all his work which George created and made.

These are the generations of The Force and of the galaxy when they were created, in the day that the LORD George made the galaxy and The Force,

And every craft of the shelf before it was in the store, and every action figure of the shelf before it sold: for the LORD George had not caused it to premier upon the screen, and there was not a viewer to watch. 


End file.
